I grew up in a home where there was underlying anger and a pressure to do things right. My mother ssuffered major depression and seemed to sleep a lot. She would often be asleep when I left in the morning, and in bed when I would return home from grade school. At an early age, I realized and vowed that I would learn to take care of myself. I can see now that a spirit of rejection and self pity pushed me into making this vow to myself.
With the weight of myself on my shoulders, I began having health issues beginning at six years old -- including rashes with painful blisters on my feet that made it hard to wear shoes, repeated urinary tract infections, and the indications of lazy eye. My heart was really broken, but doctors instead began treating all my symptoms with creams, antibiotics, and a patch that I wore over one eye for a year to help correct my vision.
Throughout my teen years, I developed skin allergies, chronic yeast infections, and cystic acne on my face. By this time, I had come into agreement with the idea that I was just a sick person who was always fighting some health problem. Father God drew me to Him in college and I began to seek Christ as my Savior through attending a girl's Bible Study; began reading the Bible regularly and thought that things would get easier now that I was following Christ. But the nagging pattern of various infections and rashes continued.
Because I didn't know how to address the root issues of my life, many of these same health issues continued into my early years of marriage to my husband, Doug. With all the illness came many doctors' visits and a seemingly endless number of prescriptions. It didn't take long for my marriage to be negatively affected by the impact of deteriorating health and high cost of treatments. My husband and I were fighting a lot. We kept falling back on our familiar patterns of anger, rage, and resentment that we had learned growing up. Both my husband and I were working in healthcare, but we still couldn't figure out what to do about the health issues that I was experiencing.
In my desperation, I began seeking out alternative medicine treatments, participating in yoga, utilizing magnets and muscle testing for healing, and shopping only at health food stores. I was trying to control food and supplements because my life was so out of control. My allergies had become unmanageable, and I was reacting negatively to many different things in my environment. I had visited an ER multiple times for breathing problems.
Some of my primary diagnoses were: hypothyroidism, ovarian cysts, endometriosis, chronic urinary tract infections, chronic strep throat infections, ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome, eczema, infertility, major depression, dysmenorrhea, asthma, anxiety with panic attacks, and candida.
In 2017, I hit bottom as I became homebound due to allergies. For a year, I remained in my house while my husband did everything. I was weak and feeling depressed. I had been homeschooling our son, and in that year we quit all outside activities. We also stopped having people over because of my allergies to perfumes and different smells. It was hard on all three of us. I sat and read my Bible a lot, asking God for help. I remember saying to Him, "Is this it? This is how my life will be? No, I believe there is an answer. What is it?" Several physicians had told me that the only answer to my allergies was to avoid everything that I was allergic to. I had friends tell me that I should consider moving to Arizona.
One Saturday in May of 2017, my husband convinced me to get out of the house and go to an outdoor farmer's market. That day, we saw a friend there who asked how I was doing. After sharing how I was struggling, she told us that she had just been to a ministry in Georgia where she was completely healed of Hashimoto's disease. She told me that I needed to read a book titled, A More Excellent Way. As I began reading it, all the Scripture just washed over my soul; the healing had begun. From that point on, I had regained hope. I also learned that a broken heart could lead to fear, consequently compromising the body's immune system. The book's author, Henry W. Wright wrote of how important it is to meditate on what God says about you by reading Psalm 139 -- better than any prescription drug you could take. I also studied how God created me fearfully and wonderfully. I focused on verse 10, which says: "Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.? It was the first time I started to receive help without feeling guilt or shame. I realized that I had been bitter against my mother for her absences; bitter against God for my years of sickness. I cried and repented to God over my wrong attitude. As the poison of bitterness left through my repentance, my health began dramatically improving. I began going out of the house visiting the grocery store (walking down the laundry isle) and going out to restaurants with my husband and son. My body started to feel more relaxed and at ease. I was beginning to walk in peace with my Heavenly Father.
Today, I have so much to be thankful for: healing from allergies, my marriage has been restored, and my son no longer experiences allergies, chronic migraine headaches, and nightmares that he was having due to the stress in our family. Many broken relationships have been restored as Father God has directed me to humble myself and repent.
What I would like to say to someone who is searching for hope… your hope is not to be found in your own strength or ability to take care of yourself; to figure things out. All hope is found in God and what He is going to do to store you and your situation in His timing.
Jeremiah 17 was a huge part of my healing, which says in verse 5: "Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord." I have realized that the vow I made years ago to take care of myself was a significant part of why I had been so sick. I repented for making the vow and I canceled those words and replaced them with these words, "Father, I want to trust You to take care of me. Please show me what that looks like." Jeremiah continues to say, "Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is." He is my hope, and I am learning to trust Him more and more each day.
My life now is so different now. My husband and I have a physical therapy business that the Father has directed us to operate out of our home. We are practicing the
– Cathy